My boyfriend dumped me, and that’s okay.
He moved out on Monday. His friend helped him move his things, my kids clawed at him when he had to go. He wasn't happy about saying goodbye, but he was already long gone. Below are two things that helped me pull it together, and realize I will be fine—as always.
Yes, y’all. I was dumped. At age 26, for the first time. But, that’s okay.
This past weekend at church, the message revolved around how we behave on our worst day. The absolute, most horrid, down right, most awful day… how we behave and react defines who we are. I had a bad week. A reaaaaaal bad week. However, I am making my best effort to live as He would (sounds so not typical Ty, I know).
We all mess up. This is something I have grown to learn while with Luis. Previous to being in a relationship with him, I was an all perfect woman in the relationship. Now, now, we know there is actually no such thing as a perfect person. I have grown to acknowledge my many flaws, apologize, and own up to my imperfections. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
I have this person deep inside that rages and gets angry, and doesn’t always communicate the best. My excuse has always been, “well I was honest, so if you can’t handle the truth…” or “Oh my God, be a man and just change what I’m telling you to fix.” No, though. That is not the proper way to fix things. I may have done it to Luis a time too many. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
My ex-husband begged and fought and pushed me to go to counseling. He yelled and screamed and pleaded for me to seek therapy. I never did. I finally did, thanks to this past relationship. That alone, is enough. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
I have been to church a time or two in my lifetime. I wasn’t a fan. I wasn’t a believer. Luis brought me to a place that I have found myself making it every Sunday. I sing. I close my eyes during prayer. I say, “amen.” I listen to the Word. I take notes. I reflect on those notes to make it through bad days. I enjoy going. I brought one of my most beloved students into the seat next to me to hear the gospel. I now pray. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
If you read, “One Divorce, Two Baby Daddies, Three Children (and Teaching with a Master’s Degree)” you may remember I didn’t mention Luis. You may realize on my blog, I’ve never mentioned Luis; and I have considered now, that may have sucked for him. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
Also, if you read, “One Divorce, Two Baby Daddies, Three Children (and Teaching with a Master’s Degree)” you may also remember I explained how impulsive I am. Also, that I rushed into my marriage with PJ. Well, knowing me, I rushed into a relationship with Luis, as well. He’s great. He’s kind. He’s fun. He’s inspiring. He is also not able to handle me, and the weight of a woman I am. We rushed, so we did not know this, initially. We know now. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
He wants to have a kid (or kids). I have three. I do not want more. I am 26, and my youngest (Canon) will be 3 in July. My middle (Presley) will be 5 in September. My oldest (Jizelle) will be 9 in December. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
I love Beaufort. I have been prompted with opportunities to move many times. I refused. I likely would not move when it was time for him to go. I have worked endlessly to build a life here. Endlessly. College. Finishing year three at the high school Finishing year one at the tech college. Journalism. Obtaining my nonprofit business license. This is my town. It is my place. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
During this process of loving Luis, I built strength in areas I have needed to obtain for so long. I cut off a toxic relationship with a parent that was tainted by chasing the bottom of the bottle. Without him, I would not have reached this destination. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
So, I had my worst day—or worst week. And through it, I have seen some glorious things about myself. I am a good woman. I am growing. I am wandering on a journey to faith. I work hard. I love harder. I am a wonderful mom. He is a good man, but made some terrible mistakes. No matter how much I love him, we could not come back from him laying with her. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
I have the most loving and supportive friends/family who have walked on this Earth’s surface. You know who you are, but I have to say it. Duncan. Taylor. Jaimie. Brittney. Kem. Dad. Thank you, thank you thank you. You all always pick up my pieces, over and over and over. And for that I am ever grateful. So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
And of all the worst things this past week have held (and you all only know the surface), not the portions that were like pouring boiling lemon juice on raw flesh. But, that’s part of what the message was. Remember, how we behave in our worst day.
So I'm not going to tell all. I'm not going to call the women out who are reading this and cringing that I won't mention their name. I know. You know. It's okay. No worries, dolls.
From the wise words that filled my soul on Sunday:
In our worst days, we need to learn some things.
On our hardest days we don’t turn to God. We get frustrated with God. We have to ignore our emotions and give our emotions to God; he made these emotions inside of us. When we give our emotions to God, he will give us the comfort we need. We are a generation who don’t like time. We don’t know how to let the time pass. Sometimes, we will not get answers right away, so how do we get through the pain as we wait for the answers to the toughest questions of “why?”
So, my boyfriend dumped me—and that’s okay.
hugs, love, and tons of kisses.